For the past several years I have ferociously protected my Sundays. This was to be my day of rest. Rest from my work at Yarntopia. Rest from getting dressed and made up. Rest from being around people other than my family, and sometimes I wanted rest from them as well.
Today, at church, I rediscovered the true meaning of rest. After the opening worship music, and during the pastor's call to worship, there was a moment when the words "Be still and know I am God" rolled through my mind. This is the place where true rest resides - in the quiet and the stillness of being with God. Yes, I was in a room full of people, and yes I had to get dressed and put on makeup, but for that hour I was resting in the presence of God. It was a simple but important reminder of what is true and what is false.
But that wasn't the only amazing part of the morning. A while back Shorts began asking if she could go with us "when you start going to church again." Today was the day. Watching her experience a different style of worship, walking with her through her first experience with the Lord's Supper, and praying with her at the altar made for a once in a life time Sunday morning. Our personal history makes what I am about to say particularly poignant: today the three of us worshiped as a family.
I spent many years grieving the fact that I never had a child. Walking alongside Courtney during her pregnancy and being present when Shorts was born was the most amazing experience of my life. From the moment I cut the cord and held her I felt a connection to Shorts that is second only to her mother. This child seated between us is a gift from God. I have never loved like I love her. I now understand God's love for me in a fresh and powerful way.
The day culminated with Shorts seeing her beloved first grade teacher across the room. Following the service we went to talk to Mrs. Hobson who had not seen us but "felt" that Shorts was in the room. God is so amazing. Mrs. Hobson's family joined the week before we rejoined. God is surrounding Shorts with people who will love her and help her grow into the person He created her to be. "Who knows the plans I have for you says the Lord?" Not in a million years would I have imagined that my life would look like this.
I am thankful that God laughs at my plans while continuing to lead me along His perfect path.
