Thursday, September 9, 2010

The Politics of Kindness

Yesterday I finally gave up and went to see my doctor.  After dealing with vague physical symptoms for eight days,  I decided it wasn't a figment of my imagination, nor was I going to get over it on my own.  As luck would have it, the two times a year when we have beautiful weather in southeast Texas, is also the time when I suffer from allergies.  The end result is generally a sinus infection.  I'm a little early for my fall bout with this pesky condition, but nonetheless, the usual symptoms began. 


I do what I always do, I wait a week to be sure I am not over reacting then I go see my doctor.  In my twenties, thirties, and forties, a doctor was someone I went to once a year - if that - and with whom I had no true personal relationship.  Not having born children I did not go through that bonding experience with an obstetrician or pediatrician the way many women do.  It was not until I found this doctor that I stayed with one person for more than a year.


When we first met, Dr. D. was relatively fresh out of medical school and still wet behind the ears (me being the savvy nurse immediately recognized the signs); she struck a cord with me and I have never left.  Now, after a decade of practicing medicine, bearing three children, and maturing as a physician, I have that doctor patient relationship I always saw from the other side of the stethoscope.


I find I actually look forward to going to see her.  I like her as a person, but also, for a brief few minutes everything really is all about me.  No where else in my life is anything all about me.  I don't even mind simple medical procedures (X-Rays and other non painful stuff) because during that interaction with the practitioner, I am the center of attention.  I can almost see how people get into the habit of visiting their doctor for every little ache and pain.  I totally get it now.   It's not that I want fame, fortune or the accompanying narcissism; but as a woman torn in many directions it is nice, for a few short minutes, to be the one on the receiving end instead of the giving one.

We stood at the payment desk as she wrote my prescriptions; I remembered two other things I wanted to tell her.  As I began one story I forgot the other.  I stared blankly at her and sadly asked, "Am I just getting old?"  Her reply was kind and comforting without being patronizing, "No, I just think you have too much on your plate."  I felt like Charlie Brown in "A Charlie Brown Christmas" when Lucy explains pantophobia and he yells, "That's it!"  I wanted to jump up and down and shout, "Yes, I have too much on my plate and there is more coming.  Can someone please help me dig out of this pile of chaos?"  However, I maintained my composure long enough to remember the other thing I wanted to tell her.


All of this tells me two things.  First, I am not old nor crazy I am a woman who is balancing a marriage, a business, a design career, and now will be a full time grandmother.  I make things complicated for myself as I try to do too many things - ultimately not doing any of them to my best ability.  And finally, I am way too young to enter the phase of life where illnesses, pills, and doctor visits are my main source of conversation material.  

So what's a girl to do?  I must find another solution that is less expensive and equally satisfying.  

Pedicure anyone?











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