I spent the better part of Sunday buying music from iTunes and creating a new playlist. I'm not sure how much I spent, and no doubt will be surprised when the bill comes in - but, oh well, it's only money.
I was specifically looking for songs that represent my generation, things I listened to when I was a kid as well as a teenager. I include in this musical queue, the years of latent teenage behavior of my post divorce life in the late 1980's. Other than holidays and bill paying, I really enjoyed being single. Oops, off track again. Back to the music. I found songs by The Hermann's Hermits, Bread, Three Dog Night, and The Grass Roots, which nicely compliments my existing collection of Eagles and Chicago. To that I added Cyndi Lauper, Madonna (the early years), Bruce Hornsby (I have eclectic taste), Survivor, and Phil Collins.
Things that I hadn't thought about in years popped into my head as I was choosing the songs. Often a scene or a face would pass through my consciousness then would be gone just as fast. Trying to hold on was impossible - kind of like catching snowflakes, there one moment, gone the next. Some of these glimpses were pleasant, some, not so much. There were a couple of times that a song elicited a feeling of anxiety or fear but there was no picture to go along with it. I wonder - what happened at that moment in my life that was so unpleasant that I can't remember it. Hmmm, makes me curious but not enough to linger here.
The sense of smell has long been recognized as the sense that draws us into another time - another place. The other day I bought some new makeup. I bought it for the smell. Weird, maybe, but this smell and the memory it brings are both good.
The smell of Cover Girl makeup always makes me think of my friend Kay. My mom sold Avon and that was the only makeup I was allowed to use. But Kay and her sister both used Cover Girl foundation. When I spent the night at her house and borrowed her makeup I felt free to make my own choice. Kay's family was like a second family for me. I spent far more time at her house than she did at mine. I liked her family. I thought her parents were kind of strict, but I liked it. It made me feel safe. At this point in my life my folks were busy and not so strict anymore. The teenage years are not the time to loosen the reins! Smelling Cover Girl make up always takes me back to that time.
Moving, marriages, and life got in the way and Kay and I lost touch. Something that always made me sad. She is the one friend who connects me to my childhood. The one person who has known me longer than anyone except my family. It is hard for me to explain how important that is to me. I think never having biological children has caused me to feel differently about relationships. I need to be grounded and children are certainly grounding and humbling. Kay reminds me where I came from and keeps me rooted in today. We haven't physically seen each other in about 25 years. I hope that will change, but even if it doesn't I know that I will always have a friend in her.
More childhood lessons - this time from the Girl Scouts: "Make new friends, but keep the old; one is silver and the other gold."
Find a friend and tell them they are loved - you'll both be happy you did.
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